Songs About Rain
by AndImTheQueenOfSheba
Summary: I thought I was over you but I guess maybe I'm not, cause when I let you go looks like lonely is all that I got. Guess I'll never know what could have been. Sure ain't helping this mood that I'm in, if they're gonna keep on playing me songs about rain. OS


_**More oneshots. I am oneshot crazy. This song was bugging me for a while though, I mean, it kept going "Lindsey, write a oneshot based on me PLEASE! You know you want to!" and I couldn't ignore it, so...here you go. I apologize for it's EXTREME shortness. It was just a little booger I wrote in like, an hour.  
**_

* * *

I hate the early morning hours, where everything, excluding gas stations and Walmart, is closed, and everything is over. There's nothing left to do at four in the morning besides sleep, and who really wants to do that? Not me. I don't like sleeping. When I sleep, I think. I remember. I depress myself.

I can't deny, no matter how much I hate sleep, that it isn't a good idea to be driving around town running on two hours, a beer, and three cans of Mountain Dew. I don't really care about what is a good idea and what is a bad one, though. Not anymore. I am full of bad ideas, all the way to the frickin' top. Bad ideas pour out of my ears, my nose, my mouth, even my butt hole. Every single inch.

The worst idea I ever had is the one that haunts me now. The one where I thought it might be good to let her walk away. The one where I thought it would be okay to lose her. The one where I thought I would get over her. The one where I thought I _was _over her.

I can't even walk down the sidewalk anymore without thinking about her. Every time I see a girl with chocolate colored hair, I think about her. I know that's stupid, I mean, how many people out there have hair that color? A lot, that's how many.

Every time I see a girl wearing green, I think about her. Every time I see a magazine, _that I cannot open. _Every time I see a taco. Although that one doesn't make quite as much sense as the others. You kind of had to be there.

There is one thing that I'm glad I was not there for. One thing I did not get invited to. One thing I refuse to think about.

_I was at some store I cannot remember the name of, looking at new TVs. Mine had called it quits, after too much Tivo-ing. For what seemed like forever, all I had heard was the annoying voice of the man that was trying to sell me a much-too-small 36" Wide screen TV. I hadn't come hear expecting to hear anything familiar. I'd come here for a TV, and that was that._

_"Oh I don't know, it's not very clear, is it? What do you think?" A voice I could hardly forget, having heard it __way too many times. Lilly never did know when to stop talking._

_I turned around, searching for the person the voice was coming from. I found her about three or four aisles over, looking at a TV "Mark" had showed me an hour ago._

_"Lilly?" I asked, stupidly, obviously wanting to torture myself, by bringing people from my old life into my new one._

_She turned around slowly, and looked back and forth a couple of times, before she saw me._

_"Jake?" She asked, stepping away from the salesman trying to talk her into buying what I knew was a crappy TV. "Where have you been? I haven't seen you since..." She drifted off, finally figuring out when to stop talking._

_"Umm, I've been...around. You know?"_

_"Yeah." She mumbled awkwardly_.

_"What are you doing here?" I asked her, which was a dumb question, considering there is only a handful of things you can do in a TV store._

_"Well, now that I don't have to spend all my money on a wedding, I thought I'd get myself a new TV."_

_"A wedding?"_ _I asked her._

_"Umm, yeah, I was gonna get married last month, but it didn't really work out. Miley's the only one of us that is having any luck at all in that department."_

_"What?" I asked, trying to decipher what she meant in a way that wouldn't kill me. She did **not **mean that the way I thought she meant it...did she?  
_

_"Umm, yeah, she got married last week. You didn't hear about it? She said she invited you..." Lilly definitely doesn't take other people's feelings into consideration when she opens her mouth. I most definitely did not get an invitation._

_"She...she did?" I don't know how I got even that to come out of my mouth. After that, all I heard was buzzing. Nothing made sense anymore. It was officially too late. She had a new last name, and it was not mine._

I sat in my living room, watching TV on the crappy cheap one I had bought, just to get out of that stupid store, that I would not be going back to, as fast as I could. It hurt, even watching TV, thinking about that conversation with Lilly. Even television hurt. She ruined TV for me. She ruined everything. Her stupid memory ruined **everything.**

Numbly, I flipped through the channels, finding nothing that interested me at all. I eventually gave up, tossing the remote on the floor and closing my eyes, in a dumb, worthless attempt to keep her out. All I was doing was keeping her in. It's like locking all of your doors when the bad guy's already in the house. The only thing you're doing is making it harder for you to escape.

The Orbit commercial playing in the background of my dark, dreary, depressing, boring, lonely, life ended, just as I ran out of adjectives to describe how life **sucked**, and I suddenly wanted to die. She tortured me every second of every day. Every second that my eyes worked, that my ears worked, my mouth, my fingers, my brain.

The TV had landed on a VH1 countdown of the greatest songs the last decade. Of course she was on it. That one song, that one song that I now _hated, _that one song that was about _me. _That one song that made it onto the countdown. That was the _one song _that just _had _to play, at that exact moment.

I scrambled for the remote, pounded the power button, and shoved it into the cracks between the cushions on my sofa, trying to hide it. Lord only knew how when I turned the TV back on, she would be on it. And now it was too quiet. It was _always _too quiet. Without her there laughing, without her talking...it was silent. It was lonely. Lonely lonely lonely. I say that too much.

Whatever.

I got up and went for my keys, deciding to go for a drive. Maybe if I was lucky, somebody would run me down before I made it out of the driveway. Sliding the keys off of the kitchen counter, I ran out the door, and climbed into my car. It was too big for just one person. Too big. Too quiet. Too empty.

I turned the key three times before the car started, reminding me how forgotten it had been. It seemed to be the only thing I could forget anymore.

I turned the radio on, onto the Oldie's station. The one station that Miley would definitely not be on. Because she is not old. She is young.

That is not even funny. I tried to be funny, and it didn't work. See how messed up I am? Nothing I say comes out as anything other than depressing. I am way too depressed. My ego is the size of an ant now, and that isn't even what depresses me. I don't care anymore. I don't care, and I'm too emotional. I'm way too emotional to be a guy. Maybe I was switched at birth...No, I definitely wasn't. I know for a _fact _that I am not a chick. No way Jose. I would prove it but...well..._sigh. _

I slammed the car into reverse, and pressed down on the gas pedal, too hard, looking behind me to watch out for other cars.

Once I made it out onto the road without hurting myself or anybody else, I realized that I didn't know where I was going. I hadn't exactly planned anything. I'd just gone. Like she had.

I turned the radio up and just drove, down the road and down the road and down the road until it stopped, and I _had_ to turn. This was so boring. This drive was so boring. This song was so boring.

The song ended, and a new one came on. I recognized it instantly. Elvis.

_"In the early mornin' rain  
With a dollar in my hand  
And an aching in my heart  
And my -pockets full of sand  
I'm a long ways from home  
And I missed my loved one so  
In the early mornin' rain  
With no place to go_"

Of course they can't play something happy, when I'm in a mood this crappy.

I drove around, and around, and around, not quite sure where I was going. The songs kept changing, and they weren't getting any better.

"_Rain, rain in the sky  
Everywhere I look, my eyes see  
Rain, rain fallin' down  
Crying as it hits the ground  
Rain, rain in my heart  
Every day that we're apart  
Rain, rain  
Falling rain, rain  
Rain, rain  
Only rain, rain"_

_"__Here comes that rainy day feeling again  
And soon my tears they will be falling like rain  
It always seems to be a Monday  
Left all the memories of Sunday  
Always standin' here before the clouds appear  
And took away my sunshine"_

I don't know why I didn't change the station. All they were playing were stupid songs about stupid rain.

Somebody down at the station obviously knew I listened to this. I'll be they were having a laugh right about now. "Hey let's play depressing songs until it tortures Jake Ryan to death!" It must have been a fun new game for them. There are _so _many happy songs out there that they could play. Songs about babies, and dancing, and parties, and...weddings. They just don't want to play any, because they just hate me that much.

_"Tell me what you want me to be  
I can't stand myself anymore  
Tell me what you want me to see  
I can't find my way off the floor  
Took me like a hurricane  
I think it's gonna rain, yeah  
I think it's gonna rain  
Rain down on me"_

Why do these songs have to make so much sense? "_I can't stand myself anymore_" How depressingly true is that? I hate how depressed, and stuck I am. I'm stuck on her like super glue. I cant move on. I thought I was over her...but...maybe I'm not.

What depresses me most, is thinking about how much I was missing out on. I could be with her now. I could be on that honeymoon with her, instead of _him, _whoever _he _was. I'll bet she's having a lot of fun. It's probably sunny there, nice and cheerful. I'll bet she's happy, there with the man of her dreams, whereas I am the one who isn't even important enough to haunt her nightmares anymore.

I _want _her to be happy. I _hope _she's happy, but...I just keep thinking about how much I had excluded myself from by letting her go, and I don't want to think about happy anymore. Out of this, she got a new husband, and I got lonely. That was it. How unfair. How stupid._  
_

_"Kentucky rain keeps pouring down  
And up ahead's another town  
That I'll go walking through  
With the rain in my shoes,  
Searchin for you  
In the cold Kentucky rain,  
In the cold Kentucky rain"_

The people that pick these songs out _hate _me with a passion. They hate me. They despise me. Why can't they play something else? Why do I have to blame these stupid songs for my bad mood? Better yet, why can't they play something _other _than songs about rain?

* * *

_**I almost feel like I have to keep this to myself, seeing how short it is, but I don't care. It's a oneshot anyway. It doesn't have to be that long. Complain if you want. Or praise me...whatever the opposite of complain is...****It's too late for me to look that up. Good. Night. AHH! I ALMOST FORGOT! I have to tell you about the song this is based on. It's Songs About Rain by Gary Allan. I's actually kinda good, if you're into that kind of music.  
**_


End file.
